Weekend Writing Warriors/First Timer

Greetings Writer Warriors!

This is an excerpt from one of my WIPs, an M/M Romance/Fantasy called “Remember Me in Shadow” :

Meryk watched him beg on the street in the smallest and unfriendliest village in Apothyca. The bowman offered nothing but cupped palm, great bruised eye, and an empty quiver. Yesterday he stood in that same place with conies and skins, but Meryk knew the young man, between then and sunset now, had his ass kicked and lost everything to the winner.

Meryk, who had no qualms about a man’s coin and his cock, stopped watching the begging man and entered the tavern for his dinner and drink. The bowman stood tall, anyway; no skulking about the alleys waiting for a wink or a nod, like Meryk. Who now sat on a stool inside the tavern and out of the cold, had bread and stew, and a lass to sit on his lap for a little while until she saw he was as poor as she was and offered almost the same goods.

He fell asleep, head on the bar until the barman shook him roughly awake and pointed towards the door. Snow falling again. Another lonely night by the fire awaited him.

 

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9 thoughts on “Weekend Writing Warriors/First Timer

  1. veronicascott June 8, 2014 / 10:28 am

    Really enjoyed the tone of this excerpt and I’d definitely want to keep reading. A lot of story left to tell, clearly!

    Like

  2. evelynjules June 8, 2014 / 10:52 am

    So much depth and detail in this excerpt. Love the flow of your writing! Nicely done! 🙂

    Like

  3. Author Charmaine Gordon June 8, 2014 / 11:20 am

    I ‘m confused in a few spots. Make sure you’ve ended a sentence before beginning another. There’s a bleakness to this eight and I hope the next one reveals a touch of hope. Thanks.

    Like

  4. alexissduran June 8, 2014 / 11:39 am

    You do a great job of setting up the characters, conflict and setting in such a short scene. Very intriguing snippet!

    Like

  5. caitlinstern June 8, 2014 / 3:36 pm

    Meryk isn’t doing so much better than the man out on the street… but he seems unsure whether he’s made the better choice or not. Food, or pride?

    Like the strong voice in this snippet!

    Like

  6. Teresa Cypher June 8, 2014 / 11:49 pm

    Beautifully descriptive writing. And ultimately sad. Good 8!

    Like

  7. burnsmillie June 9, 2014 / 9:31 pm

    Welcome to WeWriWa! I’m interested to see where this is heading…starting out pretty bleak!

    Like

  8. chellecordero June 10, 2014 / 9:11 pm

    Welcome to WeWriWa!
    The desolation the reader can actually feel in this snippet is remarkable. Good 8

    Like

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