Yeah, so Nano. Didn’t work out between us. I’ve changed, and it’s time to move on.
I don’t write in a white heat put-down-whatevers-in-your-head-whereever anymore.
I’ve become *gasp* linear.
It’s okay, I’m still a pantser-not-a-plotter. Plotting is a waste of time for me, and always will be. I need an ending and some scenes to reach, but I keep those in my head or on a notepad. I don’t use a novel writing program, either.
I’m happy to say I’m a better writer than I was in 2012. My purpose in critique groups and continuing study of the craft was to write a better first draft. And yeah, I kinda miss the hot mess, the hectic beat inside my head. Now I’m a new author. My confidence still waxes and wanes, but not so deep and so far.
I’ve long been in awe of the Angel in the Pit, the one who truly comes up with these stories, who invades my dreams with plots and characters, who broke down a massive wall (can you write and still be blocked? I think you can) of resistance that opened up the yawning pit (it’s not scary, just colorful) and let the angel out. Somewhere in my subconscious, higher conscious, soul resides this angel of not only words but connections, connections I have yet to see. I only obey. Throw that in there and make use/sense of it later. I don’t know what the purpose of that minor character will be, but the angel does.
It’s not a perfect method by any means. I sometimes wish for the writing machine in Steven King’s “Tommyknockers” when all the little plot bombs go off at once. You know, when you’re in the shower, at work, or walking down a crowded street, or otherwise unable to get the ideas out as they come.
Nano this year felt like one more chore than I needed, even though I talked myself into signing up this year. The 30,000 words I wrote in 2012 didn’t become anything of itself, but split off into two or three future stories, the characters’ personalities got swapped, and I did cannibalize many–no, all of the sex scenes for my renaissance romance/mystery.
The Angel in the Pit is urging me to do it their way. A very wise person once told me: “Just trust, and it will be there.” So far he’s been right. 😀