I <3 K. Vale: A First-Time Self-Publisher’s Lament

 Young man

A First-Time Self-Publisher’s Lament

by Kimber Vale


I did it! Someone pinch me and then hand over that fifth of whiskey because I desperately need it.

I’ve officially plunged into the self-publishing waters, ladies and gents.

Now that I’ve acclimated to the unexpectedly agonizing temperatures, and my eyes have adjusted to the murky view beneath the surface, I think it’s safe to come up for a deep breath and report back on my experience.

Wow. I really fucking hated it.

There. I said it. Okay, I’ll admit that some aspects were enjoyable. I loved the cover art process. I chose my models and photos and basically asked my artist, Dana Paige, to create what was in my head. She did so with aplomb, and that cover makes the pain all worthwhile (I keep telling myself). After I did a ton of research, and hemmed and hawed about who to use for editing and what I could afford to pay, Notes on Vellum was a joy to work with and gave me exactly what I was looking for.

The rest of it, though?

Now, don’t get me wrong, I like learning new things, and I generally throw myself into DIY tutorials with exuberance, but the learning curve for self-publishing was a bit demoralizing for me. I did my own formatting and uploading, figuring I’d sunk a good-sized chunk of silver into the book bucket, and here was one thing I could do myself, because, hey, I can fucking follow directions like no one’s business, right? Right?

I’m getting chest pain just thinking about it.

It was time-consuming and tricky. Nothing worked on the first (or second, or third) try. Smashwords didn’t like my initial upload, and I ended up taking the nuclear route which involves axing all of the book formatting and hand re-inserting it (yes, it seems I use way too many italics when I have to comb through and put them all back in. One. At. A. Time.). If ever those uploads go through to the Smashwords premier catalog thingy (I thought my book was being evaluated, but then realized there was a final submit button I needed to click even after my successful upload to the Smashwords site—start that one-week clock all over again, Sam) the formatted versions on their affiliated vendors will look different from the Amazon and All Romance final copies.

Too bad, because I figured out how to put photos on the Amazon version. There were instructions for inserting graphics in the Smashwords rules bible, but by the time I got to that ever-lovin’ page, I didn’t want to add any more potential fuck-uppery to my process. I just wanted the torture to be over.

Anyway, sorry for the whine. Here, have some cheese:

Hey! My book Crossed Hearts is out! Hells to the yeah! Boom shakka lakka lakka. Read the blurb down below. Grab a sample off Amazon and see if it shakes your groove thang. It’s the first in a planned series of three stand-alone books, and I am so looking forward to tackling self-publishing again!

The process will come easier next time around, I’m sure. Totally convinced. Probably. I think.

Sweet mother of mercy, I hope so.

If not, my liver probably won’t survive the experience.


One heart’s been broken. The other is secondhand.

Kory Vansant doesn’t deserve to be alive.

As time sucks him dry of energy, sapping the final ounces of strength from his congenitally enlarged heart, he’s forced to end his career as Kory Kent, porn star. Staring down death, he questions his life choices and prays for a miracle. For another chance at life, he vows to change who he is at his core.

His prayers are answered. A perfect heart now beats in his chest, but it comes at a heavy price. The donor is an innocent young man cut down far too prematurely.

Kory’s blemished history and his donor’s spotless past are far from ideal matches.

As his debts skyrocket, Kory can’t help but think his resolve to walk the high road is being tested. After he meets the adorable Will Squire at the gravesite they both visit, he’s doubly damned because there’s no way he can keep up his end of the bargain. What happens when a man breaks a deal with a higher power?

Will often prefers the company of the dead to that of the living. Following a bad breakup, he pours himself into his two jobs—funeral director at his uncle’s mortuary and part-time paramedic. He’s drawn ever closer to Kory, as if fate sticks her fickle hand in and pushes them together like two unlikely puzzle pieces. But sometimes history can’t be buried, and maybe divine intervention isn’t always right. Will discovers everyone is imperfect, no matter how pretty the outer package, and opening one’s heart is never easy, but can be oh, so worth the pain.

Buy Links:

Amazon US: http://www.amazon.com/Crossed-Hearts-Scars-Novel-ebook/dp/B00W0IJW1I/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1429875422&sr=8-2&keywords=Crossed+Hearts

Amazon UK: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Crossed-Hearts-Scars-Novel-ebook/dp/B00W0IJW1I/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1430495267&sr=8-1&keywords=Crossed+Hearts

Amazon DE: http://www.amazon.de/Crossed-Hearts-Scars-Novel-English-ebook/dp/B00W0IJW1I/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1430495320&sr=8-1&keywords=Crossed+Hearts

Amazon CA: http://www.amazon.ca/Crossed-Hearts-Scars-Novel-ebook/dp/B00W0IJW1I/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1430495411&sr=8-1&keywords=Crossed+HEarts

Amazon AU: http://www.amazon.com.au/Crossed-Hearts-Scars-Novel-ebook/dp/B00W0IJW1I/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1430829152&sr=8-2&keywords=Crossed+Hearts

All Romance: https://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-crossedhearts-1795672-149.html

Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/538603

Open book and magical background

Bio: K. Vale writes erotic romance of all stripes, from hot hetero to mouthwatering manlove. Find her MF work published under Kimber Vale. Come for the sex. Stay for the story. Stalk Kimber on Facebook and Twitter @KimberVale, and check her site for updates, new releases, and freebies at http://www.authorkimbervale.com .

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kimber.vale

Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Kimber-Vale/311761975532531

Twitter: https://twitter.com/KimberVale

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/5343495.Kimber_Vale

Email: kimbervale@hotmail.com

Kimber has a $20 Amazon gift card giveaway going on!

Rafflecopter link: https://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/display/7d5bb789338/

Thanks so much for hosting me, Heloise! XOXO

You’re always welcome, K! XOXO


3 thoughts on “I <3 K. Vale: A First-Time Self-Publisher’s Lament

  1. I am considering self publishing – and this scares me! See, I am terrible at technical stuff. Like really bad. I wouldn’t have even known to put my book up on Smashwords!! Lol.

    It all sounds very complicated. But you did it!! And it is a fantastic book 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thanks, Skye! I’m pretty sure I just tend to gravitate toward “the hard way.” Other people seem to have had an easier time of it. Anyway, don’t be deterred by my rant, and I’m always available to (try to) answer any questions you have. 🙂


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